


Subconcious Anarchy

by amy494walker



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Other, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-17
Updated: 2012-06-17
Packaged: 2017-11-07 23:46:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/436763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amy494walker/pseuds/amy494walker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel finds that indulging certain aspects of his new found humanity can be somewhat beneficial.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Subconcious Anarchy

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the SPN Kink Meme.
> 
> Prompt: Castiel/any (though Cas/Dean is preferred or Castiel/self) Castiel's first real sexual experience/orgasm. Maybe he knows about the phenomenon from a textbook perspective, but it's VERY different from knowing from experience. Basically Cas experiencing real sexual pleasure for the first time and being really clueless and/or freaking out about the whole thing.

In all the millenia of knowing that an angel becoming a mortal was a possibility - in all the millenia he'd imagined what it'd be like - not one second of that time had been spent imagining what dreaming would be like. He knew of dreams of course, he saw them in the minds of others all the time. But he'd never imagined closing his mind to anything but his rampant and free imagination. The sheer anarchy involved in allowing ones subconscious mind, a part of the mind reserved for instinct alone in an angel, defied his ordered upbringing.  
  
When the inevitable happened and he was made human, the first dream he'd experienced had been as intriguing as it had terrifying. He had held no control over what had transpired in that strange world and he found parts of his memory of the dream missing the next day. It was both exhilarating and haunting to have so little control over ones own mind but as Dean had assured him many times, it was "Part and parcel of being a good old fashioned human."  
  
The more time passed, the more comfortable he grew with it and the more he grew to enjoy the good dreams and even accept the bad ones; of which there were admittedly more frequent. Another thing Dean assured him was normal for a human in their 'line of work'.  
  
One night was different.  
  
As Castiel gasped awake, he lay still - panting - for a long moment before wondering if what had just transpired in his mind could be considered normal. Of course he knew that the subconscious mind interpreted certain aspects of life differently that the conscious mind would. He also knew that his close relationship with Dean was one such aspect open to corruption in the dream state. He even knew the mechanics and inner-workings of human sexuality. But he hadn't known that the three would conspire to give him a dream like that.  
  
Dean's body, bare and pressed against him. Large calloused hands stroking firmly but agonizingly slow over smooth thighs. Full and soft lips against his, on his neck, on his ...  
  
Castiel swallowed as he felt heat rise to his cheeks.  
  
He was above such things.  
  
As he moved to get out of the sweat soaked bed, Castiel was helpless to stop the groan that escaped his throat when the sheets moved against a certain part of his human anatomy. A part that Castiel paid little mind to in everyday life; beyond Dean's warnings not to let anyone strike him there. It was also a part of his anatomy throbbing with liquid heat that seemed to seep into his veins.  
  
Staying perfectly still to avoid causing more friction, Castiel breathed deeply as he tried to will the unwelcome feelings away. In all of his existence, longer than any human could comprehend, he had maintained dominion over his own form and those he possessed. He was not about to let his traitorous - human - subconscious mind take that away from him.  
  
When he closed his eyes however, the only images he saw were of Dean. Naked, covered with perspiration, beckoning him. As he remembered what it had felt like to have Dean's strong hands caress his body in the dream, he moaned softly and his hips twitched upwards of their own accord; seeking an imagined touch.  
  
Castiel was extremely disturbed by his behavior but, as always, he couldn't help being slightly intrigued. Deciding there was little harm in discovering why it was that humans would throw entire lives away for the sake of copulation, Castiel propped himself up on his elbows and gingerly pulled the covers aside. His jaw dropped at what he saw. Through the thin material of the pajama pants he'd had to procure, his penis was enlarged and virtually solid.  
  
He had an erection.  
  
He'd never been aroused before. It was scary, new and ... interesting. Licking his lips, Castiel lowered his hand and pressed two fingers against the top of the bulge and stroked them down. His eyes fluttered shut and he let his head fall back. It was exquisite. He applied more pressure, using his whole hand this time to press against the hardness and gasped as his hips thrust forward into his own hand. Castiel was working with nothing but instinct now and for the first time, it was human instinct pushing him forward.  
  
He wanted more.  
  
Bringing his lip between his teeth and biting lightly, Castiel quickly shoved his hand inside his pants and grabbed the base of his penis with his whole hand, making a fist and moving it experimentally. The sound that escaped Castiel when he began to stroke himself was unlike any he had made before but certainly one he hoped to make again. A smile blossomed on his lips at how easy it was to achieve such pleasure, such ravishing Ecstasy. If this was what it meant to be human, he felt as though he could get very used to it.  
  
He increased the speed of his movements, his hips rising to meet his hand. He was beginning to sweat now and he was moaning quietly with every breath. Until then he had strictly been thinking of what would make him feel the best but as he felt himself fall into a haze of desire and oblivion, he found his thoughts drifting towards something akin to a waking dream. Perhaps it was a fantasy, those he'd actually managed to have even as an angel, but never this realistically.  
  
He imagined Dean's hands on him - touching him - just as they had in his dream. He imagined the shape of Dean's body against his so vividly he could almost smell the shampoo in his hair, feel the warmth of skin against skin.  
  
Castiel gasped deeply as he fought for breath. His body was moving chaotically, instinctively until every cell in his body seemed to ignite in an inferno that began in his abdomen, down his crotch and out to every inch of his body. He cried out, no longer in control of his body or mind anymore than he was in his subconscious.  
  
The liquid heat spread through his body and made his limbs feel like lead. He collapsed back down and found he couldn't move, couldn't think, could do nothing beyond gasp for breath and listen to the sound of his own heart beating in his ears.  
  
When the cloud of lust was finally lifted and his mind began to function again, Castiel tried to abide by the initial purpose of what he had just done and analyzed the situation. He looked down at himself and saw the white fluid that marred his skin and shirt. Ejaculation. It made him smile and he thought he knew why.  
  
That had been an orgasm. That had been his fist orgasm. It had been intoxicating, overpowering and intimidating but he hoped beyond all reason that it wasn't his last.


End file.
